How Full Is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath

7 stars

• Hardcover: 128 pages
• Publisher: Gallup Press; 1 edition (August 10, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1595620036
• ISBN-13: 978-1595620033
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches

At first glance, you would have thought this thin book has little substance. 128 pages with almost every alternate page of a quote with a picture of a bucket, you might think you have been ripped off. However, happiness in life often lies in simplicity and one does not have to find all ways and means to be happy. This book is about that. Just a simple theory about a life that is a bucket and how happy you are depends on how full is your bucket.

The theory originated from Don Clifton, a psychologist who focused on the positivities in life to to promote happiness. The theory of the Dipper and the Bucket centralizes on the fact we have buckets to fill but often, we use our dippers to empty them. The book is split into 6 main chapters and their summaries are as follows:

Chapter 1: Negativity Kills
The chapter begins with history on how American POWs were treated in North Korean camps. Deaths were not caused by torture but an emotionally draining experience of killing relationships. Prisoners were infused with so much negativity that they lost the meaning to live.

Chapter 2: Positivity, Negativity and Productivity
Productivity is powered by positivity. Lack of appreciation, disengagement, unproductiveness can be caused by negativity. And this can spread from one person to another. Hence the dipper theory.

Chapter 3: Every Moment Matters
A good relationship should have a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio. It's always better to have more positives but an upper limit exists. This is because positivity must be grounded in reality.

Chapter 4: Tom's Story - an overflowing bucket
This part is a short autobiography of the author on his trials and how positivity helped him weather them.

Chapter 5: Making it Personal
There is no one single way to impart positivity to others. You must individualize each attempt,, catering to the target person's character.

Chapter 6: 5 strategies for increasing positive emotions
1. Prevent Bucket Dipping
2. Shine a Light on What is Right - instead of focusing on what went wrong, see what went right
3. Make best friends - have great relationships
4. Give unexpectedly
5. Reverse the golden rule

You can visit www.bucketbook.com for questions, tests and other reading material.

Million Dollar Habits - Brian Tracy

9 stars

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Entrepreneur Press; 1 edition (May 2, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1599180294
• ISBN-13: 978-1599180298
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.8 i

Despite the title focusing on 'million dollars', Brian Tracy manages to put together an excellent well-rounded book on the topic on personal excellence and how to get there. The main concept of it is that habits get us to where we are and they can be learnt. Brain reveals to us tips on develop ingcrucial lifelong habits to better our life in all aspects - career, personal relationships, finances, fitness etc.

7 Steps to a new habit

1. Make a decision
2. Never allow an exception
3. Tell others (be accountable)
4. Visualisation
5. Affirm self (self talk)
6. Persistent practice
7. Reward to reinforce

The idea is not to overload oneself and take one step at a time, a habit at a time so we won't be overwhelmed. The following are categories of habits that can be developed according to one's wants and aspirations.

Habits to Succeed
- self-discipline
- be an optimist
- be mentally hardy
- know what you want
- be future oriented
- focus on your goals (do goal setting)
- excellence orientation/mastery
- know your key skills
- Develop your weakest skill that is material to your career (weakest skill = slowest pace)
- lifelong learning (read, learn from experts, courses/seminars)
- action oriented
- mix around with the right people

Habits of Millionaires
- take charge of finances
- frugality
- Law of attraction
- Wedge theory (save 50% of future increases)
- Insure

Habits to be paid more and promoted faster
- focus on jobs that are easy to do and easy to learn
- contribution orientation
- seek opportunity vs security
- find/do your ideal job
- Start earlier, end later
- Ask for more responsibility
- Take initiative
- Look like a winner
- Focus on customer service (internal and external)
- Be a good team player
- Help others to improve
- imagine you are self employed
- Be positive and cheerful

Habits of Top Business People
- Clarity
- Set goals and objectives
- Focus on marketing and sales
- Think like a customer
- Flexibility
- 7 points: Plan, organise, find the right people, delegate, inspect, measure, keep others informed.
- be open
- 7 foundations: productivity, customer satisfaction, profitability, quality, employees, organisational development, innovation

Habits for Marketing and Sales Success
- Specialize in one area
- Be different from the rest
- Determine your best potential customers (focus)
- Focus and concentrate on Sales efforts
- 7 Ps: product, price, place, promotion, packaging, positioning, people
- Meet, exceed, delight then amaze your customers
- Referrals and resales are key to profitability

Habits of Personal Effectiveness
- personal strategic planning
- Personal productivity (work hard, fast, smart, efficiently, better, on your strengths
- Focus (why am I paid? What are the high value activities? What only I can do? What is the biggest single contributing thing that i do for the company? What is the best use of my time?)
- Do the important only - Pareto, overcome procrastination, ABCDE method

Habits for Getting Along with Others
- make others feel important
- fearless and spontaneous
- be a relationship expert
- 5 points: acceptance, have gratitude, compliment always, build other's esteem, listen
- prioritize relationships esp with family
- learn forgiveness

Habits for Health and Well-being
- maintain ideal weight
- get rid of 3 white poisons: sugar, salt, flour
- eat right, slowly (> 20mins), timely (heaviest at the start and mid)
- do it slowly and steady
- Exercise
- Relax FULLY when it's time
- Sleep and rise early
- Drink lots of water
- Moderation
- practice solitude

Habits of Character and Leadership
- develop your character
- imagine and act like that ideal
- develop a vision
- aspire
- courage
- responsibility
- honesty and integrity
- 3 primary virtues: Prudence, Just, Benevolent
- Loyalty
- Faith
- Persistence
- Gratitude

A Whole New Mind - Daniel H Pink

8 Stars

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Hardcover (March 24, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573223085
• ISBN-13: 978-1573223089

In this book, Pink talks about humanity's transition into the next age.

Ages: Agricultural (strength) --> Industrial(Machines) --> Information(knowledge worker) --> Conceptual(holistic thinking)

Our transition is fueled by the 3 As:

1) Abundance - from fulfillment shifting from utility(meeting basic needs) to experential(meeting wants)

2) Asia - outsourcing and growing competitiveness

3) Automation - increasingly sophisticated computers to replace routine jobs

Pink discusses that in order to stay relevant and ahead, we just develop our mind holistically - shifting our emphasis on the left brain more to the right brain.
The differences between the 2 halves are:

1. One controls the opposite side of the body

2. Left - sequential, right - simultaneous

3. Left - text, right -context

4. Left - details, right - big picture

To develop the right side to meet the increasingly vigourous needs of the future, Pink suggests to hone our 6 senses of the right brain. These 6 senses are separate but they are closely linked and overlapped. Pink also adds a portfolio segment at the end of each 'senses' chapter on how to develop that particular sense.

(1) Design

It is illustrated that the world is moving beyond functionality to something that adds in an engaging experiential component to life. Design can only make the difference between 2 products with the same function. To develop this, we can diversify our learning, don't conform to the masses, be choosy and to learn how to be creative.

(2) Story

We remember details better if they are part of a bigger story due to the emotion factor. Such engaging experiences will only attract.

(3) Symphony

This is the ability to synthesize than analyze. Seeing relationships, connecting different parts, recognising the bigger picture and creating new from old are ways to be different. This is something a computer cannot do. We ought to practice drawing, being metaphorical and keep asking 'why nots' instead of 'why'.

(4) Emphathy (feel bad with; different from sympathy - feel bad for)

The ability to connect with people is increasingly being recognised as a necessary trait in a globalising world. This can be seen in the need for people-skills in job recruitment as well. We can hone this skill by volunteering and putting ourselves in people's shoes constantly.

(5) Play

It is a trend that people are seeking work that are more 'play'. Passion is the key word. Entertainment is one of the largest industry and merging it with work to value-add gives greater incentive for people to seek this course.

Humor is equally important to develop meaningful relationships and creating better lives.

(6) Meaning

There is an increasing connection with our work and something spiritual. The need to connect with something deeper gives meaning to our experience in life. We can hone this by dedicating work to some cause or to show gratitude daily.

The book is summarised into 3 questions:

1. Can someone do what you are doing for cheaper?

2. Can a computer do what you are doing faster?

3. Are you offering something what others cannot?

Empathy Quotient

Systemizing Quotient

Humor scale

Spot the fake smile

Reading the mind in the eyes

Spirituality and Well-being

8 Secrets of the Truly Rich - Bo Sanchez

In this book, Bo corrects the false belief of equating materialism with being rich. This is a sticking point with many Christians who seek to give of themselves and be 'poor in spirit'. It is actually good to be rich as we can give more if we are. And God will always want the best for us and give us abundance in life. Money is crucial if we want to do much for God and ourselves, most aptly summarise in quoting him here:

"Money is not the most important thing in the world but it affects every important thing in the world".

People don't get rich because (1) they don't want to subconsciously, (2) they are financially stupid and/or (3) they don't ride something to wealth.

Bo shares his 8 secrets in bite-sized chapters summarised below:

1) Be totally responsible for your success

Where we are now is due to our choices, thoughts and habits. We can change this by creating a new pattern of success. But first we must take ownership of our life and stop the blame on (1) the government, (2) our family background, (3) the devil and (4) God.

2) Enlarge our psychological wallet

- Changing our core beliefs about self and money

- Increasing our money comfort zone by being more comfortable with larger amounts of money

- Imagining earning more

- Slef-image attracts your level of success

- Solve contradicting desires by being clear on our purpose

- Remove negative family labels

- Train when we are young (it is ok to have money; we have to work for the things we want; it is easy to earn if we focus on it, we must focus on profits, we ought to learn to sell)

- Increasing skill sets to match our psychological wallet

3) Get rid of crazy religious beliefs

- Don't romanticize poverty

- Recognist that the rich can get into Heaven

- Don't hate yourself or indulge in suffering because we so-called 'deserve it'

- Don't over-rely on God; God gave us stewardship for a reason

- Don't disguise laziness as faith

- Don't be obsessed with miracles like striking the lottery

- Don't be fatalistic; we must work and trust, not doing the latter only.

4) Be completely committed to your dreams

- For dreams, there are the Wish level, Want level and the Committed Level - be at the Commited level because it shows you want it bad enough.

- Be the scriptwritter of your life

- Write your dreams down and read it daily

- Apply the power of attraction/focus to increase the awareness of opportunities and to change predominant thoughts

5) Raise your financial IQ

Like ohter types of IQ, this can be learned and developed in time.

- Look for financial mentors

- Avoid bad debt by (1) writing a deadline for financial freedom day (2) creating new ways of cheap pleasure (3) scheduling steps to financial freedom (4) not borrowing if you cannot afford it (5) negotiating with your creditors

- Get insurance at 10 times your annual expenses

- Build your retirement fund NOW by compounding in investments

- Save 20% of your income

- Invest young

- Read (books and news), Listen (seminars) and Practice (via financial mentors, volunteer in small businesses, do your own small one)

6) Ride something to wealth

- Diversify in multiple streams of income

- Compounding

- Utilize your core gift to earn (Be good at it; Enjoy doing it; Be paid for it)

- Learn to sell

- Have a entreprenuer mindset (Profits are better than wages); if you cannot handle the growth of a business, grow yourself first

- Expand territories and do more

- Have passive income (developing a replicable system)

- Have exponential income by leveraging

- Build a dream team and having synergy

- Spend 80% in marketing and 20% in developing

7) Have a bias for action

- Don't feel self-sufficient (by relying on God too much)

- Look for natural signs and not supernatural

- Make things happen (perfection is never a good strategy)

- Fail your way to success (the more you do, the more success you get)

- Take bold massive action (not small steps always)

- Hustle - always be on the ball for solutions

8) Win in all areas

Areas like relationships, maturity and emotional level, using your core gift, health, wisdom, money, spiritual

- Follow your inner compass (which is God's voice and love)

- Define your own success and don't compare

- Give our best and to compete with self only

- Give more so you receive more

- Sacrifice wealth for others- to see the poor as family and not charity

- Have God as your champion partner because He takes care of all your miss shots.

7 Secrets to Real Freedom - Bo Sanchez

Bo talks about addictions in life and how we can be free of them in this book. He first recognises the fact that we are all sinners and hypocrites but then, knowing so, we can choose to not to be over time. Most of all, it is always our minds that limits our freedom. This book is great for people who are religious in nature who are looking for a Christian perspective on being free from crippling habits.

An addiction is defined by Bo as (1) a habit that cannot be stopped, (2) something that done repeatedly and (3) a habit that is harmful to life. Bo says that there is no one way to be free but many ways.

His book is divided into 7 parts and many small digestible chapters on how to get rid of addictions. They are as follows:

1) Discovering what you really need

- To recognise your hidden addiction (Eating, dieting, starving, spending, smoking, anger, worrying, complaining, coffee, sleeping, cleaning, working, lusting, religion, games, TV etc)

- To understand your hidden addiction is trying to do - (1) avoid a pain (2) fulfill an underlying need. Bo mentions that we all have a 'love tank' that needs to be filled.

- We can get rid of such an addiction by any various ways like - maturing, spiritual conversion, healing the past, dealing with the present, group therapy etc.

2) Focusing on Ambition and not Addiction

- "What you focus on grows" - we ought to focus on our goals and solutions instead of faults and barriers

- We must tame impatience and impulsiveness (delaying gratification)

- Our goals must be MAGIC (Measureable, Ambitious, Godly, Imaginative, Complete)

3) "Loving the Sinner and the Saint within"

Bo says that before we can deny ourselves, we must have a self that we accept and love in the first place.

We can love ourselves by:

a) Forgiving ourselves (We must not be 'proud of our sins' by hanging on to them)

b) Accepting weaknesses (There is nothing to forgive in weaknesses; we only forgive sins. Weaknesses are gifts to us for making us humble, making us more merciful to others and bonding us with other people who are suffering).

c) Feeling our feelings (instead of acting on our feelings) - this make us more aware of what we are going through and validates our emotions instead of dismissing them.

d) Trusting our needs - God always wants us to enjoy life, in the right way. We have to identify what drains us in meeting our needs (emotional, family, professional life, physical, financial, spiritual)

4) Shaping our outer world before it shapes us

The two most powerful forces in our lives are our relationships with others and the media. Hence to recreate our outer world, we

a) Say "NO" to toxic people who

- encourage our addiction

- hurt us

- manipulate you

- control you by force

- pass their responsibilities to you

- whine and invalidate you

b) Say "YES" to terrific people who

- nourish you emotionally, spiritually and intellectually (been there done that/mentor)

c) Control your media by what you read, watch and listen

One good quote/explanation from the bible was the good samaritan. He not only took care of others but he made sure he took care of his own needs (settling his own business) by enlisting other people(innkeeper) to help him help others.

It is always good to hang out with people you think you ought to learn from. You mirror the net worth of the people you mix around with.

5) Redefine yourself

"God made you so He knows you the best. For any broken parts, it makes sense always to go back to the manufacturer."

Bo talks about self-portraits in this part. Our self-portrait should originate from God and we are a child, a friend and a champion of God. We ought to focus on this divine self portrait and never give it up because it is who we truly are.

I figure it takes reflection and discernment here to figure who we truly are and how our talents can be used for the good of everyone. When our talents are deployed to the best use, we will feel accomplished even though they might be small things.

6) Get rid of Toxic faith which kills, harms and robs

5 symptoms of such faith are distorted images of:

a) God (that He is judgemental). God is never preoccupied with sin. Our relationship must be based on love and not shame.

b) Faithfulness (that it must be legalistic). We must not be so rigid that we let rituals overrule love.

c) Self (that we are condemned). We are the most loved by God.

d) Faith (which is hyper). Faith does not solve everything. God plays his part and so must we.

e) Faith system (which sometime abuses us). Our faith systems facilitates our relationship with God and not destroys it.

Real faith is about being loving and ready as God is. He is always patient and trusting, and ever waiting us to be ready to welcome Him.

7) Take Charge

We must be responsible for our own mess instead of blaming others. More often than not, we blame God for putting us in this circumstances (when it is actually the result of our choices); we blame the Devil for the evil in our lives (when we are actually giving Him more power to do so); we blame others for doing bad to us (when actually we allow them to do so by giving them power).

We ought to make things happen instead of complaining most of the time.

Bo talks about Learned Power and Learned Helplessness. Both of which we reinforce one day at a time, one choice at a time.

Sometimes we also blame ourselves but that makes us lose the power over our own lives. Having power means taking responsibility. Shaming only works against the self. Any examination of conscience msut focus on receiving love that will heal instead of harping on the sin that we have the change - the more important of the two is love and not the sin.

Get Paid More and Promoted Faster - Brian Tracy

• Hardcover: 110 pages
• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1st edition (August 9, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1583762078
• ISBN-13: 978-1583762073
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.7 x 0.6 inches

Short and sweet! Easy to read and digest.

1. Decide what you want exactly

- Idealisation

- Do you regret what you are doing now?

2. Select the Right company

- High growth

3. Choose the Right Boss

- Clarity

- Communicative

- Caring

- Comfortable

4. Develop a Positive Attitude (especially applicable for performance under stress)

- Make it a habit

5. Create a Successful Image

- Dress like the top management

6. Start Earlier, Work Harder, Stay Later

- Commitment to work

7. Push to the Front

- Ask for things to do

8. Ask for what you want then work towards it after being told how to get it

9. Guard your integrity as a sacred thing

- Truthfulness

- Dependability

- Loyalty

10. Think about the future (future-oriented)

- Have your goal in mind

- Idealisation

11. Focus on goals and having clarity

- Decide what you want

- Write it down

- Set a deadline

- List them down

- Transform this list to a plan

12. Concentrate on Results

- Focus on high value activities

- Focus on what others cannot but only you can give

- Make the most valuable use of my time

13. Be a problem solver

- Focus on solutions and not problems

14. Unlock your inborn creativity

15. Put people first

- Reciprocity and gratitude

16. Invest in yourself continually

17. Commit to excellence

- Key result areas (make the maximum impact)

18. Concentrate on the customer

- Meeting then exceeding expectations

- Delighting then amazing the customers

19. Focus on the bottomline

- Revenue

- Costs

20. Develop positive and not negative power

- Expert power

- Personality power

- Position power

21. Get the job done fast

- Always act fast (be known for it)

- Don't procrastinate

Perfect Phrases for Negotiating Salaries and Job Offers - Matthew J Deluc and Nanette F Deluca

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (November 21, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071475516
• ISBN-13: 978-0071475518
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 4.9 x 0.6 inches

This book is filled with examples of phrases for negotiation. The intial portion is devoted to negotiation preparation depending on the circumstances one is in: employed, jobless (long or short term), entry level etc. The later portion centers mostly on examples in a wide variety of cases. It would be perfect for those who need to memorise phrases but it is great for those who formulate their own phrases for comparision.

Preparing for Salary Negotiation

The 2 rules for negotiations are - Do not negotiate if you don't want the job and Be careful of what you ask for.

1. Assessing own situation - jobless, retrenched, in a current job, new entry etc

2. Assess self - skill sets, experience

3. Assess the market, industry and economy to appreciate the limitations of the employer

4. Assess own needs

- Define compensation holistically: money, bonus, benefits in terms of health and vacation, perks and other intangibles (Separate the must-haves, nice-to-have and give-aways)

- Measure the cost of the new job: appearance, transport and time, lifestyle and other commitments

Guidelines for Negotiation

1. Use silence as a tool

2. Control disclosure

3. Be firm

4. Consistency

5. Remember what is important to you

6. Find out when they need an answer

7. Ask for offer in writing

8. Keep the door open

Phrases for Negotiation

This portion covers the following scenarios:

1. Dealing with salary questions before and during recruiting (and selection) process

- salary range (pros and cons)

- age

- interviews with HR for lateral moves

2. Negotiation of the total compensation package

- Always ask in writing

- Never accept on the spot

- Higher salary, bonus, options, shorter review period, starting rates, flexi hours, home working, lesser-days work, perks, memberships, training, contract, severance, tuition refund, childcare, benefits, time off, sabbaticals, religious activities

- Counter offers under new employers and current employers

- Finalisation - accepting, rejecting, multiple offers

- Following up even none offers

3. Negotiation at current job

- Performance reviews

- Salaries

- During terminations - asking for downsizing, pay decrease, date to leave, reference letter, staying as consultant, outplacement assistance

- Asking for a raise/promotions citing no longer feeling challenged, time, vacant higher post. (This can be done after the completion of the project, market conditions, personal issues, internal inquiry, another offer coming in, replacement of position)

4. Other special circumstances

Appendix includes compensation checklist and assessment and some sample letters for reference.

The Rules of Job Hunting - Rob Yeung

• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: Cyan Communications (January 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1904879861
• ISBN-13: 978-1904879862
• Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 4.6 x 0.9 inches

Though being a small book, it packs a punch when dealing with job hunting holistically, covering the reasons for finding a job, creating great CVs, networking, itnerviews and negotiations. Rob manages to focus on the important aspects of job hunting, targetting the essentials that boosts your profile and removing redundancies that can drag you down.

Here's the summary in parts which captures most of his message:

1. Understanding oneself

- Strengths and Weaknesses

- By gathering feedback from others

- Knowing exactly what you want (life, goals and dreams) instead of casting a wide net for any job

- Know your priorities in a job in terms of: autonomy, support, family, responsibilities, location, colleagues, company size, social contribution, order, advacnement, ethics, security, leadership, moeny, recognition, mobility, creativity, variety

- Have a vision statement

- Have a plan that is SMART (Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, Timebound)

2. Creating a great CV

The benchmark here is to have 1 in 4 CVs that can land you in an interview.

- Always tailor to the required job

- Compact but with white spaces too

- Start from scratch, include relevant and recent details of working experiences only

- Keep it simple

- Decide the most appropriate format: Use a chronological format if continuing the same career path; Use a functional format for changing industries to target the required and transferrable skill sets

- Quantify your results

- Summarize your CV into a profile statement (different from vision statement)

- Exclude hobbies unless they have accolades

- Exclude martial status

- Have a proper email address

- Get a 2nd opinion on your CV in context of the job

- Append a good cover letter

3. Networking for opportunities

- List all the people you know in a sitting (from the closest to the furthest) and see who you can call

- Always call people for information (in terms of contacts and referrals) and not for jobs

- Develop a sense of ettiquette

- Always be ready for an interview

- Maintain visibility by always following up

- Have 3 types of referees: Factual, Personal Character, Credibility at work. Make sure these referees are notified of the job applied for.

- Set targets in networking

- ACE your emotions by Accepting, Capturing and Expressing

4. Being unforgettable at interviews

The four most important traits one need to present during the interview are:

1) Chemistry

2) Confidence

3) Capacity for growth

4) Competence

- Remember that the 1st (1st impression) and last 5 minutes (recency effect) are the most important

- Prepare 7 stories of success (especially for entry level) to cover topics on: problem solving, communication, customer/client, leadership, strategic planning/commercial, coaching and development, innovation/change.

- For competency-based questions, use "I or me" focusing on STAR (situation, task, action and results)

- Use your weakness/failure to your advantage, attributing failure to uncontrollable factors; divulging a minor weakness to reveal a strength that is needed for the job. Most important is the way that the weakness was dealt with.

- If the weakness is apparent, simply highlight it at the onset (like pregnancy)

- Talk long term

- Use body language - Listening, right tone, volume, pitch, speed

- Mirror interviewers

- Dress one notch better

- Defer money matters till later (next meetup)

- Prepare for any aptitude test

- Discuss other offers but no names

- Ask questions regarding challenges, autonomy, culture, requirement

- Be positive and optimistic

- Followup letter with reference to openings in other areas and addressing key points in the interview

- Ask for feedback after for learning sake.

Top 10 Questions that are asked:

1) What are your strengths?

2) What are your weaknesses?

3) What motivates you?

4) How would others describe you?

5) Main achievements?

6) Performance targets and how well you perform against them?

7) What are you proud of?

8) Why should we hire you?

9) What can you contribute?

10) What are your passions?

5. Considerations on taking up the job

- Defer spontaneous offers

- Measure your worth - benchmark and negotiate

- Considering the total package (be creative): Bonuses, relocation, profit-sharing, commission, benefits, medical, leave of all kinds, personal development, memberships, perks, flexible hours

- Establish the parameters of the job: reporting hierachy, job requirements, teamwork, starting date, performance criteria

- Reflect and compare this with the initial objectives set out

- Read the small print

- Consider an 'exit strategy'

The Effective Executive

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 298 KB
• Print Length: 178 pages
• Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; Revised edition (September 10, 2002)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
• Language: English
• ASIN: B000FC11JW

Drucker talks about the executive in the context of working in an organisation.

The irony of the organisation lies in the fact that instead of being a means to an end, the organisation works to its own survival. Over time as any young organisation grows old and large, it tends to focus more inward than outward in contribution. Drucker debates upon working as an executive to achieve a balance in working for the survivability of the organisation versus real contribution as a whole.

The realities of being an executive in an organisation:

1. Your time belongs to others

2. We are dictated by events and not, ideally the other way round.

3. Contributions are effective in context of usefulness to others

4. The organisational demands of work does not accurately reflect and meet the actual needs of the outside world.

His core premise is that effectiveness can be learnt. Effectiveness is a habit which needs to be practised. Key features of effectiveness are as follows:

• Time-awareness
  Time wasters arise from
  - lack of system and forsight
  - overstaffing
  - mal-organisation via excessive meetings (less time for work)
  - Information malfunction (communication)
  
  To manage time well, we
• Record
• Manage systematically
• identify and eliminate the unnecessary
• delegate or relinquish activities that can be done by others effectively
• ask feedback on how one wastes others' time
• Consolidate - Set aside, analyze, prune allocat
  
• Focus on Contribution - mindset shift from procedural to conceptual
• Assume responsibility for results
• Understand what is needed

Organisations need performance for

- Direct results

- Building values and their reaffirmation

- Succession planning

Effective human relations can be achieved via

- communcations

- teamwork

- self-development

- development of others

• Building on Strengths - focus on attitude and practice
  "There are no all-rounded people"
  "Feed opportunities, starve problems"

Staffing for strength

- Don't assumre that jobs are natural; jobs are man-designed and can be flawed

- Make jobs big and demanding to draw strength and for passion-finding

- Appraise for strength and not weaknesses

- Staff opportunities and not problems (make weakness irrelevant by focusing on strengths)

Managing bosses

- Do what is right

- Make bosses effective and perform

• Concentrate - First things first
  - Discipline
  - Concentration (courage to do so)
  - Focus on tomorrow; don't spend today doing yesterday's work

Priorities - we usually plan beforehand (usually too much) but postphone and abandon later

Posteriorities - deciding what NOT to tackle

• Decision Making

Elements

- Exception (no rules - more decision thinking) or generic (following principles/rules and minor adaptations)?

- Clear specifications for decision accomplishment (boundary conditions)

- Do the necessary and right, not compromise

- Action

- Feedback

In reality, effective decisions is the making judgements of opinions than facts. There is a need to disagreement first before there is a proper understanding. Disagreements break preconceptions, bring out alternatives, simulate imagination.

Essential Manners of Men

Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Collins; 1 edition (October 21, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060539801
ISBN-13: 978-0060539801

Peter Post focused on 3 main aspects of etiquette in life - Daily living, Social living and Living on your job. The essence behind etiquette is essentially having respect and consideration. As long you embrace these 2 qualities in your daily dealings, you may be regarded as a well mannered person already.

Daily Life

1. Kitchen (be responsible for your own mess, no half done chores, help clean up consistently)
2. Bathroom (sink, toilet seats, toilet paper, personal items)
3. TV (don't hog)
4. Telephone (pick up if no one else does, take down messages)
5. Driving (don't be aggressive, be humble especially for directions)
6. Communicating (have clarity, coherence and brevity) - never let a phone call interrupt a face to face communication unless absolutely necessary
7. Email - what ever is sent out should be regarded as public always
8. Greetings (stand, smile, eye contact and proper handshake)
9. Introductions - introduce the less important to the more important

Social Life

• Dress smart, smell fresh, look good
• For dating (flowers, hold doors and chairs, walk on the outside, paying)
• Always bring a gift to a party
• Table manners (elbows on the table is ok at conversations, passing food to people's left hand, always take the cue from the host)
• Flirting - the key is the intention to start a relationship

Job life

• Avoid 2 behaviours - being superior and being rude (putting down others)
• Interviews (punctual, prepared, dress one notch up, greet as above, thank 2 times - after interview and after you get home)
• 5 Questions to ask in an interview
  - Which responsibility is the most important in the job?
  - Review your resume
  - Strengths of the company
  - main problems faced by the staff today
  - describe a successful candidate for this job
• 5 Questions to answer
  - Why this job?
  - What you know of the company and why here?
  - Your strengths
  - Hardest thing faced in your previous job
  - more about yourself

You Can Read Anyone

• Paperback: 204 pages
• Publisher: Viter Press (March 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0978631307
• ISBN-13: 978-0978631307

This is not a typical read-people book. Besides interpreting behaviours, Lieberman also addresses deeper issues that cause these behaviours to surface. The book is split into 2 portions – on how to interpret actions and their deeper underlying motivations. And excellent book to read!

For part 1, there are 7 areas to learn what other people are thinking/feeling

1. To find out whether they are hiding anything
1. Mind Read – observe response by linking subject by association with another. A defensive reaction or increase in interest might indicate something.
2. Checking for prior knowledge – by using false facts to see whether they are being corrected
3. Ask their opinion on subject
4. Dodge or declare – associate some activity with a fact and notice how the person reacts to the activity
5. Fear of folly – attaching marker to suspicion and not to the suspect
6. Ask how would they do it – avoidance of most simple way would indicate something

2. To find out their level of interest
1. Ghost image – facial expressions and usage of individualistic words (like me vs him) or group words (like we)
2. Projections – coming up with correlations
3. Language – euphemism as an indicator of disinterest
4. Using positive markers – to see whether person ignores or attach themselves to the marker.

3. Gauging confidence
   Self-esteem does not guarantee confidence but influences it somehow. Confidence is contextual and self-esteem is not, hence the former does not affect the latter.
1. Physical appearance (trembling, increased rate of blinking, vocal changes, swallowing)
2. Increased focus/awareness can indicate increased level of interest and possibly lower confidence
3. Checking for over-compensation (defensive and hence lower confidence)
4. Checking for superfluous gestures as lower confidence

4. Checking how things really are.
   The self-concept is shaped by events that are (i) personal specific (personal events), (ii) personal non-specific (transitory – good weather etc) and (iii) generic (general news). We hone in on certain events based on our predispositions, which further changes our perspective. Humans try to achieve a consistency in perspective. How do we find out their outlook on certain events?
1. Ask opinion about an unusual yet ambiguous event and see whether there’s optimism or pessimism
2. Look out for contradictions
3. ‘Clean slate’ – people are more optimistic of the future if they are forgiving of the past
4. Eye-assessing cues (for a right-hander)
   oLooks up – recalling visual
   o Looks left – remembering
   o Looks down – language and feelings
   o Looks right – constructing data

5. Measuring interest levels
1. More time invested, more effort indicates high interest.
   o Eye pupil dilation to take in more visual
   o Eyes keep going back to the same object

2. “Curiosity reveals the cat”
   o sending blank emails to ‘lure attention’
   o Create incentive and note whether there is any followup

3. Shifting reality – confidence is inversely proportional to interest level. Vary the success level and note any shift in mood (while maintaining possibility of success).

6. On whose side?
1. Helpfulness – gauge by varying effort level
2. ‘Free exchange’ – bait with false information and see whether it is corrected or see whether information is volunteered
3. ‘Eager Beaver’ – engage in a conversation that lets person volunteer information without effort, then ask about the key issue, noting any deviation in helpfulness.
4. 6-Star Test
   oInterest (followup)
   o Loyalty
   o Pride – gives praise and no jealousy
   o Honesty – when it upsets
   o Respect – curiosity versus concern
   o Sacrifice

5. The Big-Sell – note whether manipulative words are used. Such words are used for emotional theft.

7. Emotional Profiling
   Human nature is powered by 3 forces
1. Soul – conscience to do what is right
2. Ego – the desire to look good
3. Body – the want to escape

Self-esteem and self-control is closely intertwined. *Anything we do depending on others (for attention or approval) wears at us emotionally*

For part 2, the books goes deeper into human nature and how to measure self-esteem.

Profiling using SNAP
There is a difference between personality and character. The former varies according to circumstances and moods.

Colours of Thought
Primary

1. Self-esteem (master primary color) – self-worth, self-love
2. Confidence/self-efficacy – degree of competency in a given situation
3. Level of interest – personal stake

Secondary

a. Effort
b. Rationalisation
c. Beliefs
d. Moods

Self esteem and ego are inversely related. The ego distorts clarity of perspective and directs the person to put effort in changing the world instead of self. The bigger the ego, the easier it is to tell what a person is forced to see.

Impact of self-esteem (Maslow)

1. Type of interest – the lower the esteem, the higher the need for instant gratification and lower emotional maturity
2. Confidence – higher esteem translates to increased perseverance and less preoccupation with performance.
3. Effort – this affects mood. Higher the esteem, the stronger the call to do the right thing in the face of greater effort
4. Values/Beliefs – the higher the esteem, the healthier the values
5. Justification – higher the esteem, the broader the perspective and less self-delusional.
6. Mood override – higher the esteem, lesser dependence on mood.
   

5 pitfalls in identifying self-esteem

1. Ego as self-esteem
2. Confidence as self-esteem
3. Success translating to having higher self-esteem
4. Humility is weakness (on the contrary, it is fulfillment and emotional freedom)
5. Mood as self-esteem

The level of esteem can be gauged by the reflection of how a person treats himself and others. It is best to have low ego and high esteem. Low esteem and low ego usually describes people pleasers. Low esteem and high ego are people who abuse, are arrogant, attention-seeking and complains.

The Gentleman's Guide to Life

Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1st Paperback Ed edition (May 11, 1999)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 060980202X
ISBN-13: 978-0609802021

Friedman can be a tad bit vulgar at times which makes you wonder about his advice on ‘being gentleman’ for his book. But I figure he pitched his content on being witty so as to make the subject more interesting.

This book blasts the reader with humor more than with information about being a gentleman. It’s a leisure read to reinforce what the general reader would usually know. The book is split into 4 sections:

1. Living large
   This describes general etiquette manners. There are general knowledge on music, wine and art.
2. Looking Good – the ‘yes’ and ‘nos’ of dressing, clothes, fabric etc.
3. Feeling Strong – On exercise, food and diseases
4. Loving Well – focus on the relationship with the other – sex, behaviour , attitudes, what to say and not, commitments, breakups

There are better books out there… and it does not tell you what you do not know.

Blink

Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Back Bay Books (April 3, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0316010669
ISBN-13: 978-0316010665

Similar to his documentary style in Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses the power of the subconscious snap judgments.

Does having more information mean having more power? It doesn't seem so. His discussion concludes that information-overload can lead us to make worse decisions than making snap judgments. This is because we often absorb excessive and unnecessary information that confounds with the relevant ones that help us to make the correct decision. Pondering and over-analyzing can confuse us more often than not. The skill here is to know how to filter the information.

Experts in different fields come about from long term exposure to their subject matter. They filter information effectively and efficiently because they have 'trained' themselves to do so. Exposure develops expertise.

A common example most can relate too for the above 2 points: Driving. It would be almost impossible for anyone to take account of all these at anyone time when driving - action of the hand on the gear, sequence of checking the mirrors, which leg on the clutch and the accelerator, how deep to breathe, talking, steering the wheel etc. If we micromanage all these actions to the detail, information overload would make us really lousy drivers. But we drive 'instinctively' and filter all the little details, it would so much more natural and comfortable to drive.

Gladwell also talks about how we are primed to do certain things because our subconscious takes over. We easily change our minds in different contexts and we process information differently between the short run and the long term. Long term exposure develops unconscious associations and guides our future thinking and filtering processes.

The book is peppered with other interesting information. One I remember is that there should not be any contempt in marriages.

I conclude that after reading this book, there seems as though there is nothing I can change. I can't think faster, or think without thinking. But the awareness of such helps me to be more cautious of my decisions, and that snap decision-making can be very good as well.